This past Sunday, June 3rd, was cancer survivor day. I am happy to be a 10 year survivor of colorectal cancer myself. Being a survivor though is not without its own set of experiences. Often the price of living, is living with a brand new “normal”, one that others don’t see. For those times though, even when things are going really tough, I like to try and laugh at the experience. Not because it is funny in itself, but because to laugh at something takes away its power over you. Other than love, there is no greater power that humans can wield.
In that vein, the following little ditties are for those like myself that are rectally challenged. I give the artist’s names first, not so much to hear the tune, but to apologize to them for what I did to it!
Back to the bathroom again, white porcelain is my friend.
Don’t know when it will come, when it does I have to run
Back to the bathroom again.
Oh yes, they call it the Streak. I feel a wet spot on my seat.
When I remove my underwear, see the lines showing there,
I know that something has seeped.
Counting flowers on the wall, while I’m sitting in the stall.
Playing Solitaire till one, on a Galaxy Samsung.
Downloading Stranger Things and watching Season Two
Now don’t tell me, I’ve nothing to do.
(Tennessee Ernie Ford)
You dump Sixteen Tons, what do you get? A butt that’s sore and a seat that’s wet.
You think that it’s over, you get up to go,
Then another load comes and she’s ready to blow!
(Johnny Cash/Sons of the Pioneers)
I see the toilet paper roll, it’s down to just one sheet.
And all the backup paper rolls are just beyond my reach.
I should have changed it out but I just didn’t take the time.
So I’ll sit here till my legs go numb, and I can’t feel my behind.
Where is my be-hind??
Have a laugh today!